


Prettier Than Me

by PandorasBox (AdriannaRhode)



Series: Writer's Block Multifandom Prompt Fills [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!, Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Chaos Ensues, Crack, Oikawa Gets The Power to Destroy His Enemies, Prompt Fic, What He Does Next Will Shock You, accidentally summons a demon, alternate names for this include, dude i'm so sorry this got out of hand lmao, lots of screaming, nobody can handle it, oikawa is a bitter angry little man, only no it won't because we all know how much he hates a certain number one ace, sebastian is just too pretty, set after karasuno wins semifinals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-15 02:50:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11796879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdriannaRhode/pseuds/PandorasBox
Summary: “So…you’ll just hang around me until the deal is up?”“That sums it up, yes.”“…NO. ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT.”





	Prettier Than Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheCauldron](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCauldron/gifts).



> I was asked, so very nicely, by a writer I really admire/reader of my YOI groupchat fic @TheCauldron to fill this little prompt. Well, I certainly did that. I banged this out in about an hour, so sorry if it's really disjointed. I just got overexcited!! 
> 
> Prompt: "Can I have a Black Butler/Haikyuu? Maybe Sebastian is contracted to Oikawa? And oikawa hates him, because Sebastian is prettier than him."

The clanging sound of Oikawa’s fist colliding with the cheap metal locker door echoed around the empty locker room like a cathedral’s bells announcing someone’s death. Oikawa’s death, probably. Considering he just lost his last high school volleyball game. To Tobio-chan, of all people. Fuck. 

“Tobio-chan,” he sneered, glaring at the new dent in the locker like it had personally made his kohai into a good volleyball player. “Fuck.”

It wasn’t _fair_. Tobio-chan and Chibi-chan were first years. They had two more seasons to try for nationals. This was it for Oikawa. And for Makki, and Mattsun, and Iwa-chan.

“ _Fuck,_ ” Oikawa repeated, voice wavering. 

He wouldn’t cry. Not here. Not where the next teams could walk in at any time and see him, Oikawa Tooru, crying like some kind of little bitch. 

He might have left the locker room to act like a little bitch somewhere else, had the room not suddenly filled with ominous black fog. 

“What the _hell_ -”

The shadowy fog crackled with purplish electricity, and then it laughed. Laughed. A pair of glittering red eyes emerged from the center of the cloud. 

“Oikawa Tooru,” a silky voice purred. “So angry. So bitter. I can help you.”

“You can help me by GETTING THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!” squealed Oikawa. 

“Oh, come now, little prince. You could use some help,” the voice cooed.

Oikawa bristled, “I’m not a prince. If anything, I’m a fucking king!”

“I can make it so that you won that match.”

“Fuck no. Why would I want that?” Oikawa argued. “If Tobio loses to me, I want it to be because I slammed his stupid adorable face into the ground myself.”

The voice seemed confused as it replied, “Well, then what do you want?”

Oikawa paused. Considering. What could a freaky supernatural cloud possibly do for him? He already had Iwa-chan, and the team, and Tobio and the rest of Karasuno to terrorize. Everyone loved him…even…even…

“I know what I want,” Oikawa growled. 

The voice hummed happily, “Say the word, and I’m yours.” 

“Okay.”

Another laugh. And then a blinding pain seared across Oikawa’s chest, and he blacked out.

\--------------

“A demon?” 

“Yes.”

“And I’m your master now?”

“Correct.”

“So…you’ll just hang around me until the deal is up?”

“That sums it up, yes.”

“…NO. ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT.”

Oikawa glared at the man across from him, one hand rubbing his bare chest peevishly. Burned into the pale skin of Oikawa’s right pectoral was a glowing purple pentagram. 

“You’re not happy?” said the man, his deep voice lilting with amusement. “But I put the mark somewhere that is covered by your uniform.” 

“No! Not happy!” Oikawa squealed. “Not at all!”

“Why?”

“Why?! I’ll fucking tell you why, you…you…what’s your name, again?”

The man smiled darkly, “Whatever you want it to be.”

“What did your last master call you?” 

“Sebastian, little prince.”

Oikawa pouted, “I’m not a little prince!”

“Whatever you say.” 

“Anyway. I can’t have you near me. It’s wrong. So, so wrong.”

Sebastian let that predator’s grin widen on his face. “Because I’m going to take your soul once you get your revenge, little prince?”

“No! Why would I need my soul?” Oikawa scoffed. 

“Well, then…because I’m a demon?” 

“Fuck no.”

“Then what?” Sebastian asked, seeming genuinely curious. 

Oikawa glared at him. Sebastian. Long, silky black hair framing a ghostly pale face. Beautiful long eyelashes and delicate lips. Graceful limbs. A sophisticated black suit and stiletto heels that tapped impatiently on the floor. _Motherfucker_.

“Because you’re PRETTIER THAN ME!” Oikawa cried. 

Sebastian laughed a low, dangerous chuckle. 

“DON’T LAUGH AT ME!”

“I’m sorry, little prince,” said the demon, “I just…I can’t help that.” 

“Fuck you,” Oikawa hissed. 

“If I fulfill my end of the deal, then I’ll be out of your way forever,” Sebastian replied. 

“And I’ll be dead.”

“Yes.”

“That’s fine,” Oikawa decided, “As long as you help me _fucking destroy him_.”

“Of course. Whatever you want,” Sebastian promised.

Oikawa shrugged. He took his phone out of his pocket and scrolled through his camera roll until he found his target. He turned the screen toward Sebastian displaying a photo with a heavy filter over it and several little clipart emojis sprinkled across the subject’s face. 

“This is him.”

Sebastian glanced at Oikawa. “May I ask why someone has added flower crown on his head?” 

“Because fuck you.”

“Understood.” 

\--------------

Oikawa fast-walked through the hallways of the gymnasium, gritting his teeth and glaring at anyone who looked at him, with Sebastian click-clacking behind him and looking extremely out of place among all the teens in volleyball uniforms. 

“Are you certain that this is our best course of action?” Sebastian asked.

“Don’t fucking question me!” Oikawa trilled, “If I just walk around, he’ll show up! He always does!”

“That sounds rather dramatic.”

“He’s always following me around! Antagonizing me!”

Sebastian opened his mouth to reply, but Oikawa shrieked loudly and pointed at the tall, broad figure of a boy walking toward them. 

“I fucking told you!” he whispered furiously. 

And then Sebastian found himself watching Oikawa sneer up at a calm and stoic Ushijima Wakatoshi. 

“You chose the wrong path,” Ushijima rumbled. “There was a place you could have reached your full potential. Because of your worthless pride, you didn’t choose it.” 

Oikawa shrugged, all bravado. “So you’re trying to tell me I shouldn’t have gone to Seijou?”

Sebastian edged in, “Little prince, do you-”

“Oh my GOD, enough with the ‘little prince’ bullshit already!” Oikawa exploded, rounding on Sebastian instead of Ushijima. 

“I apologize, I just-”

“You just love making me look like a FUCKING IDIOT in front of my SWORN ENEMY, huh?” 

Ushijima interrupted, “I do not think we’re enemies. I think you should have come to Shiratorizawa.”

“Oh, THERE HE GOES WITH THAT AGAIN!” Oikawa shrieked, “DO YOU KNOW HOW OFTEN HE SAYS THAT? EVERY. DAMN. TOURNAMENT.”

“I see,” said Sebastian patiently. “You’re losing your chance.”

He was right, because Ushijima seemed to get the hint that Oikawa was in no place to speak with him at the moment, and started ambling away. 

“I FUCKING HATE THAT GUY. I LOVE SEIJOU. IT HAS IWA-CHAN. I LOVE IWA-CHAN,” Oikawa raged, “I HATE HIM AND I HATE YOU.”

“I’m sorry, little prince.”

“DON’T FUCKING CALL ME THAT.”

“Apologies.”

Oikawa looked around suddenly, as if realizing what a scene he was causing. “Wait. Where’s Ushiwaka?”

“He left. Moments ago.”

“ _Motherfucker_ ,” Oikawa swore, softly, with feeling.

“I can see that this is going to be quite the endeavor, hmm, little prince?” Sebastian said, his grin betraying that he knew exactly what a pain in the ass he was being. 

“YOU CAN HAVE MY FUCKING SOUL. YOU CAN HAVE IT! I DON’T CARE!”

“I think not. This is going to be very, very fun.”

**Author's Note:**

> Confession: A lot of people's characterizations of Oikawa annoy me. So I really hope I did this beautiful little trash baby justice! I had way too much fun with this...if people like it I might just continue on with the Misadventures of Oikawa and Sebastian. Okay? Okay. Love you guys!


End file.
